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Author Topic: Trying this again...  (Read 7007 times)

HungryinTN

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Trying this again...
« on: September 12, 2013, 09:54:55 AM »
Preface:  Last night I posted about a weakness that I still have, asking if anyone else also still had demons they were struggling with, hoping to provide a safe space for those of us who do still have moments of weakness to talk about it.  Don't get me wrong, the vast majority of the time I have no problem doing exactly as I should.  Occasionally I struggle, and sometimes I slip.  But I always get back on my feet and keep encouraging myself - and, before today, coming here for encouragement - to keep moving forward and not look back.  I've struggled for many years with a bad relationship with food and with my body, and I feel like for the first time I am actually overcoming those emotional issues, but I'm not there yet.  This morning I awoke to several responses that didn't answer my question - whether or not anyone still struggled - but instead shamed me for my weakness.  In my current hormonally-imbalanced state, having just quit synthetic hormones as part of my journey to better health, the comments cut me deeply.  I was ready to give up on the forum altogether, and even posted a thread stating as much.  I'm going to give it another shot, because it was an isolated incident, but I sincerely hope that it wasn't an omen of things to come.


That said, I still struggle with certain temptations.  On increasingly rare occasions I give in to them.  I accept the consequences of my actions, striving every time to learn more about myself through that struggle and through every mistake I've made.  How do you handle your demons and temptations? 

Suzhookem

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2013, 11:40:17 AM »
Hungry, I must have missed something! Not sure what happened to you but I'm sorry. I love your honesty and even go to your blog but you seem to have quit posting. I know I struggle, but find it easier to keep doing what I'm supposed to than to try and put the train back on the track. I had a long way back to health and still have a full marathon to go. I wish I could bury my face in a warm loaf of sour dough bread. I really do! Lived in San Fran when I was younger and just crave the stuff. Last week I had a "son" crisis and asked my husband to go to Randall's and get a loaf of their bread. You see the starter kit is shipped from Cali and being in Texas it's the next best thing to sitting on the wharf! If you ever quit the forum, I'll come and find you! Maybe with your hormones being in a state of flux you misunderstood the postings. I find this forum to be most helpful. By the grace of God my DH was smart enough and didn't get me the loaf of bread! Hang in there.


P.S. Hope this helps. Not sure what happened but if you need to talk please email me at suzhookem@gmail.com, an NSA approved and monitored account. Lol

HungryinTN

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2013, 11:53:31 AM »
I deleted the whole thread this morning.  Basically I had admitted a fault in the process of asking a question and several posters jumped on the fault without responding to the question.  I'm sure that I was overly sensitive, and none of the responses were particularly cruel.  But I felt very judged, which is definitely not what I come here for.  Anyway I can feel the waterworks starting again now, so it might be a good idea for me to just lay low for a whole. 


PS I posted on my blog a few days ago. 

gunsmith

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2013, 12:53:57 PM »
I posted in that thread, I hope I didn't hurt your feelings.
If I did it was not my intention and I apologize.

HungryinTN

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2013, 01:15:44 PM »
I didn't actually pay very close attention to who the comments were from, thankfully.  I would hate to hold anything against anyone.   

Rita

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #5 on: September 12, 2013, 02:34:43 PM »
None of us can be perfect.   I screwed up big time several months ago for several days.  ( Here's my confession lol  ).   It's human.   Change isn't easy.   But I think the most important thing is to say 'okay... that wasn't good... today is a new day'.


And I'm personally not as strict as many folks are here.   I'm not totally low carb.   I have my fruit because I want those nutrients.  I also do some replacement carbs such as quinoi noodles periodically, because when I make spaghetti, I want noodles, and the shitaki noodles don't do it for me.  I don't do it often, but I don't feel guilty about it on the occasions that I do do it.   I also sometimes have rice... but not often.  Again, that's just a choice I've chosen for myself.


Not everyone here is on the exact eating plan, since we all have different goals.   I don't want anyone to feel judged here.  We're just all people who do our best to eat healthy and to support each other.


Cheer up.  You've done such a great job and you have been overcoming so many challenges while also going to school.  You should be very proud of yourself!

arlin

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2013, 05:44:08 PM »
Hungry~I'm sorry you felt emotionally threatened by anything posted. I love reading your posts, and like suzhookem, I love your honesty. We're all just human beings here, doing the best we can. Some have got a better grip on things than others, but that's fine. I'm such a beginner in all this that sometimes when I read what others know, I feel a little "uneducated?" shall we say? :) But I love learning from all the members here. I feel very comfortable talking about just about anything on this forum and I hope you continue to trust too.

Just reading your posts has allowed me to be easier on myself! I'm still addicted to cigarettes and hope that detoxing and eating right will in time allow me to give them up. But I'm not going to beat myself up about my shortcomings and I hope you never do either.

Chin up girl! You're a very important member here as far as I'm concerned! And I'm sure most if not all the other members feel the same way. We're all important here, and what we're attempting to do to change our lives is definitely important even though it has its challenges at time.

You would be sorely missed if you left!!

Lila

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2013, 07:50:36 PM »
This new lifestyle can be a challenge.  So many opportunities to resort back to old ways.  It is really easy for me to get discouraged if I don't see the same kind of results others report (and I truly am not getting the reward as fast as I would like).  Plus I have several really bad habits I'm working on breaking,  like snacking at night, drinking alcohol during the week, and others.  I don't know if I'm always going to beat the demons and would-be saboteurs.  Seems like the best we can do is try and if we slip up, fix it and try to move on.


It is scary too. I've been reading a couple of cholesterol books and stopped taking my statin a few days ago.  This wheat/grain free lifestyle defies the conventional, for sure!  In the back of my mind I worry about whether this is the "right" thing to be doing. 


There are lots of really informed people who post to this forum (certainly not me!) but keep in mind that they were once like us, just trying to find their way. 


Hang in there with us!!  I hope we will be here a long while!

HungryinTN

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2013, 07:59:18 PM »
Thank you all for your kind words (and Rita for responding to my question so I don't feel so alone!).  I may be a little triggershy for a while on posting, but I'm not giving up just yet.  I can't imagine ever eating wheat again, but there are other no-no foods that I avoid in general but worry less about.  As a person who thinks scientifically, I enjoy experimenting to see what kind of effects certain things have which in the long-run just gives me more evidence that I need to stay right on track.  More than that, with my diet being already limited by the fact that I still can't stomach meat, I suffer from food boredom pretty often.  I eat fish, eggs, and vegetables.  Every.single.day.  Sometimes a "cheat" - and we're talking once a month, give or take - is actually what keeps me on track (as long as it isn't wheat - it's never wheat).  But my experimentation helps me know my own body's limitations - which "bad" foods affect me the worst and which ones I can get away with.  Like I know I can get away with wine once a week and still lose weight and feel great, but if I don't drink at all I lose faster and feel better. And I know that I can't get away with restaurant tortilla chips but they are a weakness - especially if I get to the restaurant hungry after a nine hour workday with several hours of studying left ahead of me. It's all a series of negotiations and conscious, self-aware choices for which I accept the consequences and work to correct when I need to.  There's no point in beating myself up over it or letting anyone else do so, either.  I know how much I've overcome and all of the battles I have left to fight, and no one who DOESN'T know all of that can tell me that I'm doing a lousy job. 

Suzhookem

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2013, 09:23:49 PM »
Lila ~ right on! I also don't know about dropping statins all together but I used to read DH things I saw and he stopped about 6 weeks ago. He feels fine. His cholesterol was a little high but I think he's still better off without it.

Jan in Key West

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #10 on: September 13, 2013, 08:10:03 AM »
Hungry.....I've been away for a few weeks so am arriving late to this conversation. We're all 'works in progress'....we all have struggles.....and we're all just trying to figure out the implications and components of living this lifestyle.....and that takes community effort of which you are a certainly a tremendous asset! I personally am encouraged that this forum represents generational diversity....you have many more years than I do to carry forth this message and to effect change in the world.....and that gives me hope....YOU give me hope!

Teresa

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #11 on: September 13, 2013, 09:04:04 AM »
Here's my current vice/temptation list and my success rating in controlling them (1 is zero control, 10 is completely mastered):
 
  • Chocolate, chocolate, and chocolate.  Yeah I have switched to 85% cocoa instead of milk or regular "dark" chocolate which cuts down the sugar (and carbs) a bit but I still eat too much of it.  - 4
  • Whiskey - 1 (not really even trying here and don't plan to any time soon)
  • Diet Coke (gotta mix something with the Jameson) - 9...but only recently
  • Dairy, which is still in the experimental nixing phase but I am struggling more than I care to - 6
  • Beautiful, greasy pepperoni and onion pizza from our neighborhood bar, a vice that I knowingly and willingly choose to participate in, but only about once a month so it's a controlled lack of control - 7
  • Tortilla chips or other form of corn tortilla.  Sometimes this one is REALLY hard, and then it won't be for awhile.  Then it's back.  - 5
  • Plain Lay's potato chips...I love them and I will not lie about it.  I do pretty good with this one but not always. - 8
  • Ice cream of any kind.  Do I really need to explain this one?  I didn't think so. It sort of follows the tortilla chip pattern. - 7
  • Edited to add Starbucks...yeah - 8
Disclaimer - this list is subject to additions and/or changes at any time because it is MY journey and I answer to no one but myself.  I'm a little selfish like that.
 
Hang in there girlfriend!  8)
« Last Edit: September 13, 2013, 09:40:57 AM by Teresa »
~Teresa

arlin

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #12 on: September 13, 2013, 09:52:46 AM »
I still eat a few dove darks each week. And I'm getting better about the Andy's custard, but still allow myself one every now and then. I wish I could stomach the 85% dark choc but for some reason I still can't.  Maybe soon I'll be able to get off the doves and make the switch. Still have a margarita now and then too. And a little red wine. I'm on vacation right now so I hope that doesn't turn into a LOT of red wine lol

Loanne

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #13 on: September 13, 2013, 10:52:09 AM »
HungryinTenn, you have my sympathy and understanding.  My heart ached when I read your post.  I, too, suffer from these demons and I'm not sure what the answer is.  I haven't eaten wheat or sugar, but I overeat on stuff that's low carb, mainly to shovel stuff in.  Consequently, my weight loss slows down some weeks because of it.  I don't exercise as much as I should, and that doesn't help.  It seems more difficult on weekends than during the week when I have more of a routine.  These are issues we've all dealt with our whole life, probably.  Getting past them in a few weeks or months isn't being fair to ourselves...it takes time and there are lessons we need to learn along the way.  Like I mentioned, I don't have answers, but I understand where you're coming from.  That's one thing we all have on this forum...an understanding of the pitfalls and demons of being human, and old wheat/sugar issues.

Rita

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #14 on: September 13, 2013, 01:00:07 PM »
And I think the more we know about certain foods and how bad they are for you ( like how chips get oxidized and cause free radicals ), the more we'll think twice about eating them.  So bringing awareness I think is a good thing.


I'm not tempted by soda anymore, because I think of all those chemicals I'm drinking.  Yuck!

deanna in AR

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #15 on: September 13, 2013, 01:26:35 PM »
Hungry, I guess I missed your other post.


Some things I DON'T struggle with are:
Wine - 1 on Teresa's scale - I don't struggle with it because I just drink it every evening


Dove darks - 1 - same as above...2 Dove darks with almonds every night


Some struggle:
Tortilla chips and corn tortillas in general - 5 - we indulge in a full Mexican meal every once in awhile. It's kind of a struggle because DH is willing to indulge a little more often than me...lol


Pizza - 9...so far anyway. When I'm presented with pizza at someone's home, I'm able to just eat the topping. Twice we've ordered a "gluten free" pizza and, even tho the crust was not really good, we ate the whole thing


Wheat - I've never purposely cheated with wheat, but so far we've only been able to purchase grass fed beef and free range chickens a few times, so I know I get some of whatever comes through their systems. Don't know how to rate this one.


Like Teresa, I reserve the right to edit this list when needed.

Jan in Key West

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #16 on: September 13, 2013, 01:58:43 PM »
Deanna.....LOVED your wine response because it's the same as mine!

HungryinTN

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #17 on: September 13, 2013, 02:14:58 PM »
I knew I couldn't possibly be alone in this!  I was struggling with my alcohol intake for a while.  Now I'm back to once a week.  I have my 85% dark chocolate a few times a week, but not every day.  I don't eat any fruit and I think I probably should be eating a few servings of berries a week for variety and nutrients (especially while my body adjusts to being synthetic hormone-free).  My only starches from sweet potatoes and squash 2-3 times a week, except when I have that occasional Mexican meal.  I always pay for it, but it's a price I'm willing to pay for the social value I get from going out with friends.  I think it's different for people with spouses/families than for single folks like me because you have a built-in social life. In order to interact with other human beings (which I consider a basic necessity of life) I have to actually leave the house, and even then, in my town at least, the options are pretty limited. 


I think what happened in my original post was that the point I was really trying to make got buried in anecdote.  The question seemed to have been either wholly missed or ignored by most of the responders who seemed to think I was looking for either advice or vindication.


PS - Teresa:  Ever tried bitters in your whiskey?  That's one of my favorite mixes, and it aids digestion, too!

gunsmith

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #18 on: September 13, 2013, 04:15:07 PM »
I've got  18 years of sobriety in AA so no drinking for me - if I even dream of drinking  its a nightmare.


Dark choclate? love it but I am stuck in the desert and there is no place to get it so - I get to maintain my current weight I guess.
I am down to my last quest bar  :'(  and will be out of food soon  ...


I "cheated" with some bananas, but most traditional junk foods just are no longer tempting ...
I had one herseys dark choc two weeks ago, didn't really enjoy it anyway.


I had such severe heartburn for the last 20 years that even thinking about pizza hurts, for me volunteering to eat wheat is like volunteering to get a splinter in my eye.


I will splurge on those low carb/no sugar energy drinks when I have the money same with really good over 65% dark choc, well I found one that has 15 carbs per serving ( I think its Lindt )  - its like 85% or something- I'll get that and always over do it.


I have been thinking about joining food addicts anon or overeaters anon when I get to civilization

HungryinTN

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #19 on: September 13, 2013, 04:42:36 PM »
I've got  18 years of sobriety in AA so no drinking for me - if I even dream of drinking  its a nightmare.




I "cheated" with some bananas, but most traditional junk foods just are no longer tempting ...
I had one herseys dark choc two weeks ago, didn't really enjoy it anyway.


I had such severe heartburn for the last 20 years that even thinking about pizza hurts, for me volunteering to eat wheat is like volunteering to get a splinter in my eye.



I totally agree about most traditional junk foods no longer being appealing.  I'll watch my boyfriend eat something fried and just about want to gag.  The tortilla chips are the last vestige to go, and those only rarely, always in a social situation, and I always pay.  Fortunately so far the only adverse affect I've noticed (granted there's not telling what's going on that I can't sense) is its impact on my weight.  But oddly I have no problem turning my nose up at quesadillas, my former favorite.  Whenever I am at a Mexican restaurant, even if I do munch on a couple of chips, I always order a dish loaded with vegetables and skip the rice (might have a bite or two of beans, but never much). 
And pizza?  Forget about it.  I used to crave it constantly.  Now if I do have the odd craving, it's nothing that can't be cured by a good paleo option like "pizza" made on a slice of roasted butternut squash (slathered in organic, grass-fed bacon fat) with homemade tomato sauce and raw, organic, cultured cheese topped with diced red bell pepper. 

jgilberAZ

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #20 on: September 14, 2013, 07:46:28 AM »
I had Mexican last night. I always order fajita since its only meat and veggies.  And I load it up with sour cream and guacamole.

The chips are a struggle for me, too.  Last night I did better I decided what amount I was going to eat and put them on a separate plate.  When they were gone no more chips.  That seemed to work well for me, since I would normally take directly from the chip bowl and have no self control and no idea how much I was eating.

Low Carb Since April 2009.

HungryinTN

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #21 on: September 14, 2013, 08:14:52 AM »


The chips are a struggle for me, too.  Last night I did better I decided what amount I was going to eat and put them on a separate plate.  When they were gone no more chips.  That seemed to work well for me, since I would normally take directly from the chip bowl and have no self control and no idea how much I was eating.


That seems like pretty smart strategy to me.  I do something similar.  I should try the separate plate thing, too, if it comes up again.  I break the chips into smaller pieces as I eat them so that each chip is like eating five in terms of the hand-to-mouth habit.  I haven't challenged myself again, and I'm preparing for a business trip next week so I'm eating every single meal at home and not touching alcohol because I know that the trip is going to pose some major challenges, as travel always does...

Lila

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #22 on: September 14, 2013, 12:32:52 PM »
I'm down to drinking (only wine so far) only on weekends.  Bourbon is my favorite with diet coke, but out of habit I snack when I drink bourbon so I'm not doing that right now.  Plus I don't want to stall my weight loss any more than it is already.


We have not eaten dinner out since being WF and I'm terrified of Mexican, which I could eat 5 nights a week.  The chips and salsa are the worst.  In a few weeks maybe I'll go and get huevos rancheros or fajitas and ask them not to bring chips to the table. 


We did go to a banquet last week but they were drilling salmon and New York strip steaks, had a nice salad, and stir fried squash and onions.  Very nice meal.  Next week I have our annual alumni dinner and the entree choices are chicken and vegetarian.  The chicken will probably be breaded and the vegetarian choice will no doubt be a "healthy" veggie lasagna with thick sauce and noodles.  Guess I will hope for a buffet and a big salad bowl.  As a dean, I'm expected to go to these events and I do enjoy them, but it will be hard this year. 


HungryinTN

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #23 on: September 14, 2013, 01:27:26 PM »

We have not eaten dinner out since being WF and I'm terrified of Mexican, which I could eat 5 nights a week. 



Good for you for not going out to eat!  That is a major challenge for me.  Some nights after I've been at work and in class all day (sometimes my days run from 8AM to 10PM, if I have to go to the library for anything, especially) I just can't bring myself to cook.  Even on the shorter days, if the kitchen is a wreck and I have more work to do when I get home, it's so much easier to just stop at my favorite WB-friendly(ish) restaurant and grab a quick bite.  Then there are the weekends.  I'm temporarily partially unemployed (just finished one grant project and starting a new one in a couple of weeks), which means that sometimes I don't leave the house for days at a time.  By about hour 48 without human contact, sometimes going out to eat is the only means to maintaining my sanity!  And yes, I could also eat Mexican five nights a week, easily. 

Lila

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #24 on: September 14, 2013, 02:06:00 PM »
I will be happy when Dr. Davis' new 30-minute meal cookbook is out.  I often work late too, though not as often since I've been cooking.  I sympathize with your work/study habits--been there done that.  The classes and dissertation are good things to have behind you. Hungry, are you studying?  My Ph.D. Is in Computational and Applied Math, although with my administrative position gives me little opportunity for anything much beyond Excel spreadsheets, LOL.

HungryinTN

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #25 on: September 14, 2013, 02:16:07 PM »
I'm working on my PhD in Public History with historical concentrations in post-Civil War American South and pre-modern Europe and a technical concentration in historic preservation.  Basically I read between 500-1000 pages of history a week, write 5-10 pages in book reviews each week, and also work 20-50 hours a week (depending on grants), part of which is travelling within about a five hour radius for preservation fieldwork.  Full steam ahead is my normal setting. 

Lila

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #26 on: September 14, 2013, 02:27:21 PM »
Interesting.  In my college we have a Master of Archival Studies program, focusing on digital archives (born digital records). I've been hounding the program director to include some public history in the curriculum.  Our campus is adjacent to the Georgia Archives and the National Archives at Atlanta.  Give me a shout if you ever get to either of the archives.

HungryinTN

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #27 on: September 14, 2013, 02:35:30 PM »
Our campus is adjacent to the Georgia Archives and the National Archives at Atlanta.  Give me a shout if you ever get to either of the archives.


Nice!  I might be down at some point to go to the state archives.  My dissertation is on a mill community in Northwest Georgia.

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Re: Trying this again...
« Reply #27 on: September 14, 2013, 02:35:30 PM »

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